I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
