I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
