i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
