Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
