You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
