I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
