Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
