I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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