I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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