windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
