i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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