I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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