what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
