Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
