lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
