Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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