i permit you to call me
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
