But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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