He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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