just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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