your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
