That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
