The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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