oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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