I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize