she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
