But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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