You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
