Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
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Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
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That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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