The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
