You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize