Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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