I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
