I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
