Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
