I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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