I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
