i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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