good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
