i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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