I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
