I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
