I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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