He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
