Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
