I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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