At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
