There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
