Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
