see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
