She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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