did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
