After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
