i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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