Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
