Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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