after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
