no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
