but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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