He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
