Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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