I think my fart just growled at me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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