Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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