Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
