please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
