i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
