When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
