Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
